Lost Society

697 Wandsworth Road, London, SW8 3JF
Website

So we haven’t posted for a while – no it wasn’t because we hadn’t been out on various towns, obviously we have. It wasn’t because we couldn’t find anywhere worthy of a review, obviously we did. It’s because we couldn’t bothered. And so on to the latest loo review….

To succeed a venue has to have it’s finger on the latest style button – that’s obvious. Better still if it’s a bit ahead of the curve. Even better if the toilets reflect this too.

Welcome to Lost Society. No honestly. We’re not going to follow that with aa cheesy joke about how “You’re welcome to it” (a ha, a ha ha)…. We’ll save that for a review of some other convenience when we’re feeling more bitchy.

Lost Society is lovely and fin de siecle, it’s flowery and decadent, it’s all gloomy and shiny and baroque and flock wallpaper-ish. The toilets reflect that by being all cut glass heart mirrors and lush colours. Who can fail to feel good about a venue which uses mirrors that tell you that you’re loveable? The colours are vibrant and there is plenty of room to feel right at home in them. Levels of cleanliness were high and we were eating there so we were up and down the stairs all night to use the WCs – the standards were maintained throughout.

One feature of the toilets is that the doors to the ladies and mens are open – so you can see the urinals, gloriously placed against the deep red wall of the men’s toilets. To some that might be a reason to mark it down, but not for us, we’re just those kind of gals. And remarkably there were no nasty smells emanating! Even better.

So what is our verdict? Despite a genuine hope that we would be able to review the toilets by telling you that “Lost Society can get lost!” we have to instead use the following phrase:-

“Lose yourself in Lost Society”

8/10

Hotel du Vin, Brighton

Ship Street
Brighton BN1 1AD
Website

This being the Hotel du Vin we were quite full of Vin when we visited the loos and so we took the unusual step of taking photographs – which we will not be sharing here as it is simply not our style. However, the benefit to you, gentle reader, is that we can actually remember the standard of the conveniences for reporting here. Of course by this you can tell that the quality of the booze itself was high….

So to the toilets. They were a smart and modern, with restrained minimalist stylings, a symphony of dark wood, chrome and white. There are 2 toilets and both are decorated the same way. The walls are tiled white but the back wall is boarded, again white, this is a nice touch, making the cubicules feel less clinical and more homely, the kind of place you might rest your head for a little while….not that we did of course!

On the attractive boarding was an even more attractive beaten metal light which cast a soft glow over the towels, neatly stacked and ready for use, though marks off for paper and not towelling. They were stacked on top of a beautiful side table standing next to the beaten metal sink. There was even a wicker basket/table to put your bag on. Oh yes, all mod cons!

Of course it was clean and tidy, easy to access (as long as you were disabled but we assume there was a disabled toilet elsewhere) in fact we have nothing bitchy to say about it at all.

The only bitchy thing we do have to say is that the people of Brighton are a bunch of  umbrella stealing cheapskates (and presumably wealthy umbrella stealing cheapskates – Hotel du Vin is not Pizza Hut). There was torrential rain in Brighton on Friday night  and so we used our most robust umbrella, only to leave at 1am to discover it had been nicked by some thieveing git. A reward will be offered for its safe return.

9/10 for toilet
2/10 for doorstaff and security
0/10 for common decency